Put coaching, mentoring, teaching, facilitating and consulting side by side.
Job adverts use the five words interchangeably, and the interview usually turns on whether you can say which one a situation calls for.
stance who holds the answer what you do when it is right
------------ ------------------------ --------------------- --------------------
Teaching you do transfer knowledge, the team genuinely
explain the mechanism does not know a
thing yet
Mentoring you do, from having share experience, someone growing into
done the role offer what you would a role you have held
do and why
Coaching they do ask, reflect, hold they have the answer
silence, refuse to and have not yet
supply the answer articulated it
Facilitating the group does own the process, stay a decision belongs
neutral on content to the group and the
process is failing
Consulting you do, and you are diagnose, recommend, the organisation
accountable for it put your name on it needs an answer and
owns the risk
The failure is not picking wrongly once. It is holding one stance for
everything - usually coaching, because it is the one with the certificate.
The distinction that matters most in practice is between coaching and consulting, because they are opposites in where the accountability sits. A coach asking a team what they think about their release process, when the coach can already see the release process is the constraint and the team cannot, is wasting a fortnight on a Socratic performance. Say the thing, own it, and go back to coaching afterwards.
Facilitation is the stance most often needed and least often named. Half of the work at programme level is a room of people with a decision to make, no agreed process for making it, and someone senior who will fill the vacuum. A facilitator who is genuinely neutral on the content is unusually valuable there, and it is a different skill from having a view.
The tell of a mature practitioner is announcing the switch out loud. "I am going to stop asking questions and tell you what I have seen in three other teams, and then you decide" costs one sentence and removes the ambiguity about who now owns the answer, which is otherwise the source of most confusion about what a coach is for.