Candidates say they run weekly one-to-ones and are rarely able to say what is in
one, so the shape is worth having ready.
Weekly, 30 minutes, same slot, recurring. Cancelled by them, never by you.
part minutes owner what belongs here
------------------- ------- ------ --------------------------------------
Their agenda first 12 them whatever they brought. Blockers,
frustrations, a decision they want
cover for, something personal.
If they bring nothing, ask about the
week rather than filling it yourself.
Feedback both ways 6 shared one specific observation from the
week, given in situation-behaviour-
impact form. Then: what should I do
differently.
Growth and direction 8 you progress against the thing they said
they wanted. Reference the ladder,
name evidence you have seen, name
the gap. Monthly depth, weekly touch.
Context they lack 4 you what changed above them, what the
reorg means, why the roadmap moved.
Running notes - shared a shared doc, both editing, carried
forward. Commitments with owners.
What does NOT belong: sprint status, ticket walkthroughs, code review.
Those have their own forums, and letting them in is how a one-to-one becomes
a status meeting the engineer starts dreading.
The ordering is the substance of the answer. Their agenda goes first because a
one-to-one is their meeting, and if yours goes first the time runs out on your
items every week and they learn that the slot is for you. The observable symptom
of getting this wrong is an engineer who arrives with nothing prepared, which
managers misread as disengagement when it is a rational response to a meeting
they do not own.
Feedback belongs in every one, not in a quarterly cycle, because the cost of
delivering it collapses once it is routine. If feedback appears only when
something is wrong, its arrival is itself the message and the person stops
hearing the content.
The reciprocal question — what should I do differently — is the part most
managers skip and the part that produces the useful information. It rarely works
the first four times. It starts working once you have visibly acted on something
small, because you have then demonstrated that answering it is safe.
The running notes matter for an unglamorous reason: they are the evidence base
for the promotion case and the performance conversation later. A manager who
cannot produce dated specifics has a year of impressions instead, and impressions
are where bias lives.