Walk me through Scrum as the Guide defines it: the accountabilities, the events, the artefacts, and what each event is for.

Short answer

Scrum defines three accountabilities (Product Owner, Scrum Master, Developers), five events inside the Sprint container, and three artefacts each carrying a commitment. Each event exists to force one specific inspect-and-adapt decision, and most workplace practices sit outside the framework entirely.

Use the Scrum Guide as the boundary of the answer. The Scrum Guide defines accountabilities, events, artefacts, commitments, and the empirical purpose behind them; it does not prescribe story points, Jira statuses, or a status-report daily. Scrum events matter because each Scrum event creates inspection and adaptation at a different level: daily plan, sprint plan, product direction, or process improvement. That is why the Scrum Guide treats Scrum events as working sessions rather than status ceremonies.